Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Lincoln.Population - [Malaysians]Huinee.Friends = Huinee.Happiness--;

Yeah, it's a little nerdy, the title, but it totally expresses my feeling, so why not use it? :) Summer is drawing to an end and fall semester will begin in less than a month. The Malaysians here are leaving one after another. This morning Joyce and Jerome flew off to California, then this Friday Pei Ying will fly off to Minneapolis, later this week Sook Hoon and Keny will leave to Cedar Rapids, Iowa, then while I'm in California, Su San will go off to Minneapolis as well. Soon, Su Hoon will also go home to Malaysia for good. All my friends, leaving Lincoln for a better future while the rest of us here slog away in our studies.

I shouldn't be surprised or sad, really. After all, we're all here only to study, and this station--for lack of a better word--of our lives is bound to come to an end. But I like to think that, however brief our encounter was, we've all made an impact in each other's life and will remain good friends as we each follow our own paths in life.

With all this, I can't help thinking about my own life. I still can't shake off that newbie feeling--the feeling that I've only just arrived here! I still remember the first time I saw Joyce--on the sofa with An Sin and Fenni, and the first time I saw Su Hoon--lying on the bed (which we were going to share!) like a dead fish. In the new students' eyes, I'm probably just an old senior who doesn't hang out with them. Truth is, I'm struggling with my own identity...graduating, going into grad school...being 22!!! *sob sob* It's funny how when we were young we always wanted to grow up...but now when I'm at this point of life I'm furiously backpedaling, trying to cling on to yesterday, refusing to admit that I am indeed a 22-year-old who needs to live up with her responsibilities in life. No more shrugging of the shoulders and thinking "oh, pa will take care of that"!

Well, I guess separation is just something everyone has to go through at some point in our lives. *hugs* to all my friends who are leaving...

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